Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
October-November 1999, Issue 8
The Final Surrender (Part 4 of the 9 part series on the Transformation to Conscious Creation)
by Michele Mayama
If you’re reading this article, I would bet that you have had some experience of trying to talk about subtle energy fields, consciousness, or sensing the presence of those who are not in a physical body. If you have given voice to such things, you might also have had people respond with various versions of fear, derision, or judgment. That response is often enough to create caution and a sense of protection around experiences that have no physical manifestation to prove their existence or effectiveness, be it an energetic form of healing or an angel. Since I have been a channel for such energies and presences for nearly 17 years, much of my experience has not been received by people with whom I would had loved to share; family, old friends, former partners, and the world at large. At times I have felt sad, grieving the sense of lost connections or apparent insurmountable differences.
Yet as I continue to evolve, I have also grown ever more aware of how my own consciousness has been split within the matrix of duality. One aspect is attuned, able to ask and receive from the currents of infinite intelligence readily available to anyone willing to listen with openness. Another aspect has been protective, wrapped around memories of trauma, afraid of judgment, and willing to adapt to fit into whatever circumstances I may find in the surface world. This aspect has not always trusted the other less visible awareness and, at times, closed it off with judgment or mental defenses. Even so, over the years, Universal Love has slowly unwrapped the protection, brought wholeness to old wounds, and invited me to see both sides, the awareness and the judgment as dual structures within my own consciousness.
All of this has occurred within a timing that has not been ours to control. That timing is one of collective metamorphosis, and together we are doing what the surface world studied by science and controlled by money has not seen coming. Using the butterfly as an model, metamorphosis needs to happen within a cocoon. And if that cocoon has been a mantle of protection with its base in old memories of trauma and fear, so be it. It has served to incubate the new consciousness without much interference. Instead of the surface world giving this evolving consciousness much thought, it has exercised its power to deny its existence or undermine its credibility, effecting a sort of banishment from the dominant reality and its material booty. Painful, yet fruitful. By staying in the current of transformation these past years, many of us have been forced to choose over and over again which reality to empower. We have stepped back and forth, sometimes contracting with fear and giving- in to the powerful surface world’s rules for belonging. And sometimes we have listened to inner knowing or intuition, learning to trust through experience the invisible wisdom that is ever present within all of creation, then leaping into the void of the unknown trusting until the next step becomes clear.
That process has grown strength in the emerging field of conscious awareness and has been its own testing ground. And its fruits are about to break into the surface world giving voice and form to what has been invisible for about five millennia. In this time we’re emerging with both the consciousness of our mother planet, Earth, and the all-present infinite intelligence within Great Spirit informing us as one dynamic multifaceted conscious living creator within creation.
There is a final surrender however. Not to death in a physical sense, although that will be the choice for some. The final surrender is to step fully into the field of creative living love. That Essential Reality does not want to be worshipped or seen as an external deity, authority, or savior. Rather it wishes to live in and through all of us to consciously create living fluid structures that are informed by the highest wisdom available in every moment. This final surrender process is one where the cocoon of protection is discarded and all mental structures related to fear and separation are transformed. All of the practice in choosing to trust is drawn upon, because the mind fights to stay separate, individuated, thinking that its thoughts are what impart uniqueness and the ability to be known, and more importantly, loved. That is an illusion spun by the masculine aspect of consciousness which has used thought and beliefs as a way to determine and control what we collectively reference as reality.
As I wrote in the previous article, the freeing of the feminine aspects of consciousness to reground and re-source us in the Essence of life and living wisdom opens the possibility for the masculine aspect of consciousness to see another reality, proven over and over again through direct experience. This surrender is of the mind, of the chatter of thoughts and beliefs, of the endless thinking, processing, and talking we do as part of our cocoon time. What happens when we merge within the field of love wherein we know we are intimately and innately interwoven with all of life, including those who haven’t been able to see us? We feel connected to them and are completely sourced with love, knowing that they are sourced as well. We know in each instant what to say or do. There is nothing to fix, no one to convince or heal, and no lack to fear. The living current informs us directly as soon as we turn our attention to the question, the person, the situation, the need, etc. When two or more focus and listen together, that current is magnified and the possibilities are limitless. Miracles are not mysterious in this field of living awareness. They are the natural manifestation of living wisdom in action.
This last surrender is a prerequisite for the inversion of the personal and the transpersonal viewpoint and fulfillment of desire. I see many people focusing on manifesting personal wealth, jobs, relationships, recognition, health, etc., all from the mind’s perspective that sees the need and that its job is to manipulate energy, thought, or circumstances to manifest the wish list. Stepping into the field of creation informs every cell with a pulsing intelligent living creative power that wants only to create itself in form. Personal needs and desires are within it. They form small channels through which the force flows to fulfillment. If one is open to larger intentions within the field, you will find greater power flowing through you and/or others to give form to structures that will affect more than self. It knows health because it is Life and informs the body to restructure itself to source and flow with greater life. It knows abundance because it is infinitely abundant and sources the individual with whatever is its intention within the field of living love. It will not source anything less than itself and it cannot flow through structures that have contracted or crystallized within duality. That contraction of fear and separation is leading to death, and it will feel like death for those who can only relate to the surface reality. Those who choose transformation will not feel death, only freedom as the last hold of the mental cocoon loosens and falls away.
This great inversion process is occurring this year, and the mind will be challenged wherever it is attached to beliefs, thinking, processes, methods, or any structures that have outgrown their ability to be channels for this living current of creation. The challenge may appear to be coming from outside, but is only Life pushing into awareness anything that is not fluid enough to let it flow freely. You may feel quite uncomfortable for a time; you may even move through a release process akin to death. Let your mind know that its part is changing. Rather than the ever present watchman with all of its well learned tricks from its time in duality, it is to become a ray of focused awareness, an open receptive conduit that creates structures for the creative force to move through. A wonderful new way of functioning that begins to forget (erase) the pattern of separation and imprints of fear. The transformation of the mental structures can feel strange at first. Who you are is not who you think you are. What you know is not what you think about or think you know. And what you think is the solution or fulfillment of your life’s holes or questions is usually not even close to what this living field of Love is offering.
Here are two practices that will assist this last surrender. The next time you are with another, either in person or via the phone, listen only lightly to the words. Pay attention to the flow of life in your body and field. Rather than allowing the other person to determine your experience of how much life is flowing through them or their verbal thoughts, consciously see both of you standing in this vibrant intelligent field of living intelligence and love. See it and feel it sourcing you and all of life, speaking and responding from this place. Then watch what happens.
The other practice is to place any thoughts, beliefs, circumstances, or structures within this field of Living Love and Awareness and let go of trying to think it through to a solution or understanding. Let the field take it, transform it, and give it back to you. Wherever you are placed, practice stepping into this field and listening, opening channels for this creative intelligence to inform you, and you to then inform others. The brilliance of these creative impulses are to flow into and restructure every facet of life. At first, we may be astounded by the manifestation of what previously seemed impossible until we realize that this is the new baseline for normal. The mind has been convinced that hard work and struggle will pay a reward, but by the time it arrives we’re too exhausted to enjoy it. This new matrix of creation is constantly dancing itself into awareness and form with ever increasing currents of animating joy and energizing vitality. The mind in separation is not able, by design, to allow such living intention to flow through it. Step fully into this living field of Love, visualize it, listen to it, open to it, and let it live in and through you until all of who you are is within it as it is within all that is.
I understand now why I lived most of my life from a place that seemed invisible to and unwanted by the world I kept trying to enter. I understand why I couldn’t “be successful” in that reality, and why this process has taken as long as it has. And I am only just beginning to see the living potential rising to the surface of consciousness within us to become visible for all to see. What an age! What a time! What a year! What a plan!
©1999, Michele Mayama. Printed in the October-November 1999 Issue of the Conscious Creation Journal. http://www.consciouscreation.com (Feel free to duplicate this article for personal use – please include this copyright notice.)
To read more of Michele’s work, you can visit Lightsmith.You can email her at [email protected]