Inner Desire, Outer Space by Mui

Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
October-November 1999, Issue 8

Inner Desire, Outer Space
by Mui

“Any particular self theoretically could expand his consciousness to contain the universe and everything in it.  The closed-in, solitary, isolated self of which you are so proud is, as I have said, an arbitrary formation, containing the core of identity; and you seem to prefer, psychically speaking, to stay at home.”
(Seth, the Early Sessions II by Jane Roberts)

When it comes to getting up and going out, psychically speaking, my favorite tool is sex.  I’ve had strange and bizarre things happen during sex.  Out of body experiences, plus much more.  Unexplainable things, mind-blowing things.  Sometimes sex is like Star Trek.  You really can go where no man, nor woman, has gone before.

As physical creatures, the way to those far reaches of the universe is through the body.  There have been several things I’ve done over the years that have brought me to these strange and unusual places.  I’ll list a few of the most important ones.

The first step I took was to get serious about loving myself.  Self-love is extremely powerful, and the confidence to leave one’s psychic home depends on such self-love.  Getting better at this is a lifelong task, but it’s so important that I can’t forget it for too long.  Shit happens when I do!  The way out of such shit is to stop and return to my own heart.  I have strength immeasurable in my own heart.

The next step I took was to trust my impulses.  Sexually speaking, I look to my libido for hints on what direction to take.  Seth has this to say about the libido:

“The libido does not originate in the individual subconscious of the present personality.  It originates instead in the energy of the entity and inner self, and is directed by means of the inner senses, outward so to speak, through the deep layers of the individual subconscioius minds, then through the outer or personal layers.

“The basic cooperative nature of the libido is indeed responsible, in large degree, for the psychic cooperation in which all entities are involved, in the construction of a physical world of matter that is inhabited by all on your plane.” (Seth, the Early Sessions II)

The dictionary defines the libido as the basic instinctual drives, including sexual drives.  For me, that suggests that basic, sometimes known as “base,” desires are not to be lightly ignored.  I trust my libido.  She has proved herself over the years to know what she is talking about.

Fear sometimes throws me in this area though.  That damn fear.  But if I sit down and consciously choose what direction I want to go in, then the fear doesn’t have as much power.  I know what I want, and I follow the desire, not the fear.  When the dust clears, I find I’ve forged a new path and that the ground beneath me is solid.  That always feels so good!

Another thing I did was purely physical but led to surprising psychic results.  I developed strength in my genitals.  What I mean by that is simply that I strengthened my pussy muscles.  This is really much more important than it might sound.  If you’ve read anything about female sexuality, you’ve probably encountered the things called Kegel Exercises.  They are suggested as a way to increase pleasure.  They do not kid.

I found it boring to just do the exercises, until I started doing them during sex.  Ah ha, so this is what they mean!  In the past two years, my muscles have completely changed.  And my pleasure has increased astonomically.  I always liked sex, and I always liked fucking, but it wasn’t until I began to really work those muscles that I discovered a new layer of pleasure.  My partner loves it too, but I do it primarily for myself.

This is hard to explain if you aren’t already aware of it.  There is something deeply emotional about this sort of muscle work inside my genitals.  It’s like pushing and pulling on the walls of the universe.  I grab, I let go, I grab in a different way, I let go, I push and massage and open and close, and what that does to my mind as well as my body is indescribable.  I even began to feel my consciousness within the well of my pussy, as if that was where I really lived, not behind my eyes.

Another important thing I did was to find someone to love.  I don’t mean someone to love me.  He does love me, but more important, he accepts and cherishes the love I give him.  The expression of love is the key.  When I don’t fear my love, and just give it, then I receive it back.  That is automatic, because my own love flows so freely and unimpeded from me to him.  A loop is created, and I feel it return to me, and then back out, like a shared breath.

Seth says that skin is really more of a connection than a boundary, and that there are no separations to the self.  Where do I end and another begin?  If I strongly connect physically to another being, then I truly am taken out of my solitary self and into the greater world of the universe.  This is a fine place from which to explore.

Through all these things, my inner senses have slowly been awakened.  I see with inner eyes and hear with inner ears.  I feel with inner senses what is in my body and in the body of another.  I feel like a cat sometimes.  Through sex, I have opened doors I didn’t know existed until I came upon them.

Lastly, here’s a cool quote from poet Kenneth Patchen (I think).  He describes eternity as “everything happening all at once.”  That’s how the best of my sex feels like.  Everything, all at once.

©1999, Mui. Printed in the October-November 1999 Issue of the online Conscious Creation Journal. (Feel free to duplicate this column for personal use – please include this copyright notice.)

Mui on Mui: “A 43 year old California native, with some fresh insights on sex and relationships.”