Spiritual Angst by Lisa Wallach

Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
February-March 2000, Issue 10

Spiritual Angst
by Lisa Wallach

It isn’t easy getting through the times when you do not feel especially spiritual. You can’t seem to concentrate or meditate the way you usually do, you may dream but you become lazy or unmotivated to write them down.  You are just in this zone of blahness and nothing seems right.  You begin to wonder what the heck is wrong.

It’s funny; we get into this wonderful spiritual high and then poof, nothing.  The mental self says, “I have faith, I believe in myself, I know that everything is the way it is supposed to be but…” Well, sometimes we aren’t going to exist in the spiritually enlightened state of self.  We grow inside and then the universe turns us outside once again.

It seems as if it is a law of the universe that we must lose our Selves in order to find ourselves again.  How could we have the pleasure of finding our deepest connections with the Self again if we first don’t in fact lose our Self?  What does this mishmash mean?  I sum it up to getting the blues.

We are always expanding our consciousness.  The blues are part of that expansion.  It’s human nature and when it happens to me I try to allow myself to feel the experience of a lessened sense of connection with my Self, but the intense emotions that come with this process can be very upsetting.  We really get ourselves with this one.  The emotions, which can oftentimes be turbulent and heart aching, are an integral aspect of us as individuals deepening our connection with our Selves.  Doesn’t this bite?  We are occasionally supposed to be in this melancholy, sad, and sometimes-depressive manner.  We create the blues and the blahs intentionally so we can deepen our spirits.

I think that it is precisely these times that we are doing our greatest work.  Remember when you were in that strong state of spiritual awareness and were connecting with God, the Universe, and Self?  What did you realize?  What did you ask for?  What messages did you receive?  I always ask for more understanding of my Self and Spirit.  I always ask for more of my own happiness.  I always ask for the ability to find my own source of power and for that power to assist me in becoming the best human being that I can be. I want more than anything else to realize my own greatest potential.

What really gets to me is the way in which the universe answers us.  It pushes us, sometimes violently, into examining and understanding ourselves from an entirely different perspective.  This kind of self-examination can oftentimes be emotionally painful.  We delve headfirst into the process of removing past hurts and resentments.  We break ourselves apart only to pull ourselves together again as a stronger, deeper, and more enlightened spirit.

When you feel that your world is crashing down around you try and remember that you asked for your happiness.  Sometimes we need to go through pain and unpleasantness in order to find our way to it.  Have faith, believe in your Self and remember that it’s just a case of the blues.  Out of this muck will come the spirit as it creates its happiness in this world.   Out of our unpleasantness we will find our joy and we will be able to appreciate our creations in a deeper sense than we can even conceive today.

(c)2000, Lisa Wallach. Published in the February-March 2000 Issue of the Conscious Creation Journal.  http://www.consciouscreation.com (Feel free to copy this column for personal use – Please include this copyright statement.)