Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
February 2001
Rule Maker Upper, Inc.
by Sharon Mendenhall
Introduction to this uniquely flavored material: When I was seventeen, I read the book “1984,” and I knew that something would happen in 1984 that would change my life. And it did! A book in the library fell off the shelf and hit me on the head, so I checked it out. Since then Seth not only has spoke to me, he has yelled, loudly. Something about “You Create Your Own Reality, so get a clue, Jack!”
Fifteen years later, when I was just about able to convince Seth my name wasn’t Jack, here comes Elias to hit me on the head with a big hammer. I’m still in the process of getting a clue, but I had to do it my way. Put it in my own words, so Elias would put that damn hammer down. The result was some type of outlandish diary. A diary about me and my jumbled up concepts. I have no other excuse. If I did, I would definitely use it.
I created a reality entitled, “Diary of a Goddess.” It started out just a little at a time, just some random thoughts that I spontaneously committed to electronic paper. But then mysteriously, the chapters started to link together, and some 350 pages later I began to wonder what to do with all this stuff. Some of it is funny, DAMN funny. (Oh my, Spiritual Humor! I always thought that was an oxymoron.)
I’m just a hitchhiker travelin’ through the universe and lookin’ for a good time, as we all are. The diary has been just plain fun for me, and I hope it will be for you also. If either Seth or Elias start hitting you over the head with a hammer, well, I had nutin’ to do wif’ it. You’re on your own.
Reader, beware!
Sincerely,
Sharon Mendenhall
The Cosmic Motion Picture Company presents
Rule Maker Upper, Inc.
Ring
Hello, Rule Maker Upper, Inc, how can I direct your call? Yes we do have a full line, would you like to speak to a consultant? One moment, I’ll transfer your call.
Ring Hello, this is Jerry speaking, how may I help you? Oh, I see you have a lot of obstacles in your life. Yes we can help you with that. No, you don’t need to outline them for me…miss…miss…miss…excuse me. Just tell me what type of rules you would like.
The cost? Well we do have some rather inexpensive rules, and then we do have more costly rules, it depends on how much you would like to pay. If you believe the more costly rules are better, then we can certainly accommodate you.
Do we have sacred rules? Of course, we have rules that are sacred, just a minute, let me look it up.
Click, click, click, click.
Let’s see, under the ‘I will be a better person if I do this section,’ would you like the standing or kneeling? Standing? Just a minute.
Click, click, click, click.
This selection is quite extensive, could you give me a price category?
Well, miss…it’s determined by suffering. Would you like mild, medium, or extreme suffering?
I not allowed to advise you on this, it’s strictly your own preference.
What kind of rules do I use? Well, miss…this isn’t exactly my category.
Can I transfer you to someone that follows these rules? Well I can try, I don’t know that anyone here uses THESE rules personally…hold on.
(elevator music)
Hello, this is Sally, how may I help you? Yes, your call was transferred. Yes, I have tried some of these rules personally.
No, I’m not allowed to recommend, but I can fax these to you, or email, and you make your own choices. If you don’t see something you like, we can custom make up one for you.
How may pages? Just a second.
Click, click, click, click.
322.
Yes, I know that’s a lot. I could narrow it down to mild, medium, or extreme, if you would like to make a choice. You want to stay in the medium range? Okay. Just a second…
Click, click, click, click.
That’s 156 pages. Yes, we do have an extensive medium selection. You want me to narrow it down even more? Just a second…
Click, click, click, click.
Are we charging you for this call? Of course, that’s how we operate. It’s a per minute charge. The operator didn’t explain that to you?
No miss, we just give you the rule, and then you do whatever you want with it. There is no policing, unless you want policing, that’s a supplement.
Well miss, there is a full range of policing also. Do you want just gentle reprimand or the death chamber?
Guilty? Let me look that up, hold on…
Click, click, click, click.
How uncomfortable would you like to be? Yes, we do have a full line of conscience. The Jimeney Cricket is very popular, and that comes in green.
Can that be ignored? Of course, all of our rules can be ignored if you chose. Our rules accommodate themselves to being ignored very nicely.
No, I don’t know why you would want a rule that can be ignored, that’s just how it is. We don’t have any absolute rules. You could paint it in absolute, if you wish.
No, we don’t provide the paint, you’ll have to get that from another vender.
Sacred diet? Yes, yes…hold on…let me back up here…
Click, click, click, click.
Okay, I’m back at the ‘I will be a better person if I do this section.’ And you want food…
Click, click, click, click.
Which ones? Don’t or do? We have some little communion cakes, they’re quite nice.
Oh…don’t? Okay…I understand…you want to be on a restricted diet for sacred reasons. Hold on…
Click, click, click, click.
This is a long listing under the sacred, food, restriction. Do you have a preference so that I could narrow it down? Yes, there is a religion option.
Yes, we classify New Age as a religion.
Do you want me to look under that?
Click, click, click, click.
How about, chemically unsafe?
Click, click, click, click.
Oh, this is a nice listing of rules. I think you’ll like this. Shall I email or fax? Okay, give me your email address.
Click, click, click, click.
The billing? We can charge it to your credit card, your phone bill, or you can mail in a donation if you wish. Donations are tax deductible, just keep the receipt.
Credit Card? Yes, we accept American Express. Give me the number.
Click, click, click, click, – click, click, click, click, – click, click, click, click, – click, click, click, click.
Expires?
Click, click, click, click.
It’s been a pleasure. Anytime you need someone to make up the rules for you, you can call me personally. My name is Sally, and I’m at extension 405.
You’re welcome.
Goodbye.
©2000, Sharon Mendenhall. Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal. http://www.consciouscreation.com (Feel free to duplicate this article for personal use – please include this copyright notice and the URL.)
Sharon Mendenhall has been a lover, a fighter, a bareback movie scriptwriter, and much more. She lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, which is no excuse, and has three children, which is also no excuse. She is a published writer, having written one story, in one book that was published. But you will find her name in italic print if you turn to page 23 of “Expect Miracles” by Mary Ellen. They even spelled it correctly….
For more on Sharon’s Cosmic Motion Picture Company, visit her book on the Elias Web Site at:
http://www.chancenpool.at/Elias/related/cmpc/index.html
Or visit the Elias website directly at:
http://www.chancenpool.at/Elias