Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
There is No Spoon – A ‘CC’ Workout
Lessons From My Horse
by Mia Pokorny
Last Christmas I received my best Christmas gift ever: a horse. In October I went to the nearby horse rescue to look at an animal that was advertised as “gentle giant”. My first impression of Bro was his long body, like a limousine, he looked as if two or three people could comfortably fit on his back. The woman, let’s call her Mary, who runs the horse rescue told us that he had been neglected by his former owners, when she had gotten him 5 months ago he had been 300 lbs underweight, he still looked pretty skinny, his hindquarters and chest looked awefully small, like those of a very young horse, not a 20-year old one. Bro’s body was covered with scars which supposedly were from other horses, only 2 days ago I found out what the real source of them might have been, but more about that later. We arrived at the shelter at his dinner time, he was happily chewing his hay while Mary’s daughter demonstrated to us how well behaved he was, picking up his hooves and then putting a saddle on him so I could ride him. It was pouring rain as we entered the ring, Mary’s daughter got on his back first, then – finally – it was my turn. I am a fairly unexperienced rider, in fact, I had only had 8 formal riding lessons before, but being on his back was … heavenly. He won my love right there, my gentle giant. But because of my tight financial situation I decided not to take him, especially since I couldn’t even come up with the money Mary wanted for him.
On Dec. 9, he was brought to my attention again at a Christmas party by a woman who accidently (!) had looked at Bro, too, and really wanted him, too. I said quietly to myself that I would get him, that I didn’t know how but didn’t care because I really want HIM, no other horse and then forgot about him again.
On Dec. 25 he was ridden into my driveway with a big red bow and bells around his neck. I couldn’t believe my eyes! It was the biggest surprise of my life. Once again the universe had proven to me that I am abundant and receive my heart’s desires. J
Now, I have to tell you that most of my life I was allergic to horses therefore I have little to none experience with them. Anxious like a mother with her newborn baby (yeah, yeah, I should just “trust”, I know), I started to read “The man who listens to horses”, a very touching book. Historically, human beings are “fight animals”, horses are “flight animals” and even though I always considered myself more belonging to the later species (flight animal), I had to admit that I carry lots of the fight-characteristic emotion of anger, whereas Bro, with his genetically ingrained flight tendency operates motivated by fear. Could we meet in the middle and transcend our drives into assertiveness and trust? We are working on it! I think that my little knowledge about horses is a blessing, I entered this relationship without baggage, without “horses are this or that” etc., (every day I learn something new, every day our relationship gains another nuance or even an entirely new dimension. Sometimes, we retreat into our anger or fear patterns, but it seems this only happens when there is a trigger that either of us connects with past experience. Let me give you examples: for me, it’s his “not listening to me” which automatically translates into “I am not being respected and that makes me angry, damn it” and two days ago he presented a perfect example as well: I bought a lounge rope, that’s a long line that you attach to the halter of your horse, and then let him run around you in circles and I also picked up a whip that is usually used to encourage them (now that I think about it, it was even silly to buy it!), you sort of let it trail behind them. He beautifully responded to my verbal commands and when he didn’t once, I cracked the whip and he totally freaked out, the whip wasn’t even close to him physically but the mere sound obviously reminded him of past cruelties inflicted on him, his fear came out and he tried to flee. I immediatly dropped the whip and let him buck and kick and then asked him to calm down and I gently brought in the rope until he was standing in front of me, I showed him my empty hands and pet him and told him that I would never hurt him and that I was sorry for whatever it was that happened in his past. Then I could feel how I just had earned a whole new dimension: he now trusts me. I am pretty sure now that the scars Bro had all over his body when I first met him were actually whip markings; he couldn’t experience the sound of the whip neutrally, instead it was loaded with memories of pain.
It seems to me we have attracted each other to heal together, when I get frustrated or angry, I can see him smile (almost grandfatherly) and sometimes he just laughes his ass off about my “seriousness”, he has a great sense of humor which melts my anger away and I just have to laugh with him.
His presence in my life brought to my awareness – once again! – the importance of being NOW, being NEW every moment, if I come with my past experiences I already limit my new creations and will find myself in a similar situation again – how boring! (Unless, of course, it’s something I really love!) There are many ways that lead to this NOW/NEW place, it can be as easy as taking a deep breath and thinking “new now!” and then enjoy the empty space – like a blank page – in front of you.
In the Eastern traditions this practice is known as “having a beginner’s mind.” Whatever the name, I think it’s a phenomenal CC workout and however you achieve the state of NEW NOW, do it … ahm, or, should I rather say: be it
(c)2000, Mia Pokorny, including graphics. Published in the online Conscious Creation Journal. http://www.consciouscreation.com Feel free to copy this article for personal use – please include this copyright notice and the URL.
Mia Pokorny IS. Sometimes she is a consious creator, writer, nanny, best friend, lover, goddess, passionate cook, student of acupressure, daughter, pisces, and lots more. Always she is a sparkling focus of ONE. She is also writing for themestream and publishes her poetry at www.lovestories.com, you can go here to view her poems and, last but not least, go here to see a multimedial poem: (it takes a while to load but it’s worth the wait!) http://www.legacyofthecauldron.com/Poetry3.html. If you’d like to contact Mia, you can email her at [email protected].