Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
December 1999 – January 2000, Issue 9
Magic & Manifestations
The following story was originally posted to the CC List – I have modified it a little bit. It is the story of how I came to live in a lovely & magic place, my perfect home (for here now!).
I was born and raised in Vienna, Austria. When I was 21 (almost 5 years ago) I was so fed up with my life and didn’t know what to do that I decided a year away, far away, might give me some different perspective. I applied to be an au-pair with a family in Boston, MA. When I left Austria, I gave up my apartment – I didn’t know where I would come back to, my parents were not an option. For whatever reason I managed to NOT worry about my living situation when I would return. The whole year, whenever I thought of it, I would tell myself that I wanted a nice apartment which I can afford on my return. Whenever my mother expressed her doubts, I would tell her the same. About 4 months before my return my mother called and informed me that I had been offered an apartment (I had applied for this about 3 years before!!!) – she went to look at it and said it was horrible. Since I had a choice of 3 apartments I asked her to go to the next and this was it! AND it was on the topfloor and had a sloping ceiling which I secretly had hoped for.
O.k., coming to present time. Within the last 4 years I have changed places several times, always to the better. Because of the above experience I just trust 99,9% that I can get what I want (at least when it comes to accomodation).
Ever since I returned from Boston I wanted to live in the USA. I returned for 6 months again the following year and last summer I spent 3 month in California. However, there just didn’t seem to be a possibility to permanently settle down in the USA; plus, I couldn’t make up my mind where exactly I would want to live anyhow. Nontheless, I affirmed to myself that I can move to America.
This year in the middle of April I once again felt the very strong urge to change my life, I was sooo bored in my job. At that time I worked in an office fulltime and only parttime in what really makes my heart sing which is, well, let me call it “energy work”. Besides the health/energy-area I had also been interested in the film industry.
Out of boredom (or hope???) I explored the internet about training as a script writer and director, by the end of the night I had made my decision, IF I would pursue this career, I would go to Victoria, B.C., the film school there sounded exactly like what I wanted.
Since I was in the “IF” mode in which I allow myself to imagine whatever I want, I thought about how I could get to Canada.
Considering all my options I thought the best bet would be trying to be a nanny again (which was not really appealing to me but hey, I was only imagining, right?!) and PLOP, there were all these au-pair agencies popping up at YAHOO. I filled in one form – JUST FOR FUN, I was not serious, right!?!!! Then I forgot about it.
About 2 weeks later I received an email titled “au pair to Canada”, I almost deleted it without reading but then curiosity won. By the way, there had only been 3 Canadian families with this agency when I filled out the application form, and tons of US and British. This email was from a family living about 30 minutes away from Victoria AND they were looking for a German speaking nanny for their son. That certainly got my attention – talk about synchronicity! What really seduced me was a short paragraph in their mail saying that they would often go away on weekends in their airplane, helicopter or big sailing boat.
Since I am also working on enhancing my prosperity I thought this would be a neat place to live. But, above all, I knew in my heart that this was it, even before I saw any pictures or anything. All of a sudden it also clicked with AMERICA, well, Canada is America too!
I came here in the beginning of August. On my flight from Vancouver to Victoria in the late afternoon I felt as if the lands beneath me were a kind of fairyland… it was just sooooo beautiful all these islands in the sunset. I kept repeating to myself “I created all of this.” and was overwhelmed by it. Such beauty!!!
So, here I am, living in my little cottage 25 feet above the ocean facing Mt. Baker which looks like a mystery mountain covered with snow ascending from the waters – telling myself “I created all this.”
On my second day here I came upon an add from THE filmschool in the newspaper offering a free workshop!!! Of course, I had to try this. It was really fun, however, in the meantime I had decided that not yet, I am not yet ready to enter the film industries, I want to stick with the healing arts a little longer.
And then, another synchronicity!!! I discovered that in Victoria there is a Acupressure-Institute that teaches the kind of acupressure I am into (Jin Shin Do) and they offer a path of training that just fits my financial & time possibilities!!!
So, I can not really say that I was CONSCIOUSLY creating this. My whole life I had dreamed about living at the ocean. (I am pisces, when I was born the moon was in cancer and the sign ascending was – guess what – right, scorpio. However, I was born in a country without ocean!) I had wanted to live in a peaceful place surrounded by nature yet close enough to a city. Oh, I almost forgot, I also had wanted to learn to fly (as a kind of intermediate thing until I get this (de)materializing stuff straight :O) ) – and – magic! – there is a flying school about 5 minutes from here…
There is another thing you people from the list-version of this story don’t know yet: I have been travelling a lot in the last couple of years, however, I was really longing for a VACATION.
Guess what? YUP, this was included in the package too! A one month trip on a sailing boat around Vancouver Island, visiting the most forsaken places, getting to see eagles, bears, tons of whales, sealions and some other incredible wildlife. AND I was paid for it!
And one more thing – also included was this wonderful little boy I am taking care of. His name is Alexander and he is almost 4 years old. What’s so wonderful about him is the fact that there are no limits to him concerning what is possible. I told him about my wish to climb Mt. Everest with my best friend. Any adult I am telling this gets this skeptical look on their face, telling me about the dangers and how strenuous and brain-damaging effects and blablabla. For Alexander it’s already a fact that I am going to do this, successfully. Yeah, no big deal, really.
What I have learned from my own story is: an excellent way of creating is dreaming about what I want, uninhibited dreaming, allowing myself to imagine the impossible, play with it, laugh at it and then forget about it. – Instead of obsessing about it, allowing fear and doubts to reign (and ruin!) my day, TRYING so hard… ;o) Dreaming was about the only thing I could do anyhow because what I wanted just seemed so impossible considering my financial resources. Well, I guess I forgot to consider ALL my resources – but I am a humble student … most of the times ;o)
And as someone posted so nicely:
WE CAN DANCE THE DREAM AWAKE IN OUR LIVES.
So, let’s dance!
(c)1999, Mia Pokorny
Leading by Example
A week ago [on the cc list] I shared an example of my problem of my defensiveness at work and then a dream I had the following night. In that instance, I reacted defensively over a fairly benign suggestion for improving my pathology reports.
This week I had a much greater test with correspondingly greater insight into my limiting beliefs.
Another partner in my pathology group and I have had an ongoing clash over how we should work together as owners of the practice. I have been saying that our interactions have been dysfunctional and that we should improve our group process, including our commitment to teamwork and high quality communication. He dismisses my pleas as a bunch of feel-good nonsense.
Last week after a meeting that I thought was particularly dysfunctional, I sent him and one of the other partners a letter. What I wanted to do was to try to break the repeating pattern of dysfunction. What I think I actually did was criticize him and his wife (the other partner). I heard him down the hall when he read the letter and he sounded angry.
So, he responded the next day with a rather blistering email to me and all of the partners (there are five of us) that was highly critical of me.
This was the opportunity for learning.
My initial reaction was the same as it always has been in these situations–hurt feelings with anger quickly following. My wife and I had already been discussing moving somewhere else so that I could practice with another group and this experience seemed to clinch it. I began to think of ways to get back at my partner.
Fortunately, I didn’t take immediate action. With reflection, I realized that I was defending an illusion of my greatness and perfection. Paradoxically, if I fully accept and love myself as I am, including all of my imperfections, then I can let go of the need to defend an illusion.
My partner’s message actually had some very good insights and suggestions for improvement. Once I got past my distaste for the packaging, I actually felt gratitude for the great gift of honest feedback. I even sent him an email response (with copies to my partners) thanking him for that feedback.
My hope is that people will recognize a new openness to constructive criticism in me and that I will attract even more opportunities for growth.
– Steve Baker
Poof – An Aquarium
My fiance’ John has two pet frogs. One day when we were in town, we picked up a bunch of crickets for the frogs to eat. On the way home, John decided that he wanted to clean out the frog tank before he put the new crickets in – when he cleans the tank, he puts the two frogs temporarily in this small plastic aquarium we have. At this point in the car, I wondered where the little aquarium was, because I didn’t remember seeing it recently, and its usually by the large frog tank. John wondered too.
When we got home, John went into the living room, directly to the frog tank and was looking for the frogs. He said, “I wonder where the aquarium is…” as I walked in. I immediately, without thinking, looked to the left and said, “You mean, this one?” It was sitting right in front of the computer keyboard! In that moment I had assumed he’d found it before I came in and just hadn’t remembered where he had set it down.
But he hadn’t. And there’s no way it could have just been there without us noticing – I was using the computer just before we left and that little aquarium, where we found it, would have made typing a matter for contortionists. <grin> It just BLINKED back into our reality when we needed it. Seamlessly!
– Kristen Fox and John McNally