The Truth About Love by Kristen Fox

Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
December 1998, Issue 3

The Truth About Love
by Kristen Fox

“Being God does not mean that you have to be anything other than what you are, without judgment, without fear, without worry, and in all your acts put forth Joy.  You will still retain your unique beauty and style – that shall never be lost.  The only difference is that you are recognizing the genius of unlimitedness in your being rather than the illusions of limitedness.”  – Ramtha

In all my investigations and experimentations with conscious creation, I’ve always come back to the one infinitely simple answer to everything: Love.  At the same time I realized that I had a lot of unconscious beliefs about Love was that was keeping me locked in old habits of focus.  In asking myself, “What is Love?” I came up with a lot of different ways to look at it, different facets of the crystal whose true nature lies beyond description.

As focuses in physical reality, we are all energy with a unique vibrational expression.  When two people fall in love their vibrations are aligned – the Law of Magnetism at work.  If you have internalized a codependent pattern, you will vibrate with that pattern and attract a person to match it, or NO person if you are vibrating a pattern of lack and undeservability.  If you have internalized a pattern of self-actualization, you will ALSO vibrate with that pattern and attract a person to match it. Doesn’t sound very romantic, does it? Actually, Love itself is very simple – vibrational harmony – it’s the EXPERIENCE of Love which we can experience as romantic, or unrequited, or blissful, or adventurous.

As I understand it, the Universe IS Love and everything we experience in physical reality stems from and is wrought from Love.  Naturally, the first question is then, “What about all those horrible things going on in the world?  How can these be Love?”  In the binary world inside your computer, communication is either a “0” or a “1”, and these two digits merely symbolize whether electricity is flowing or is not flowing.  It is the same with your kitchen faucet – water is either flowing or it restricted from flowing.  It is the same with Love.

Fear is resisting Love.  The other day I felt a huge wave of energy flood over me and I felt a great deal of fear – and so I interpreted the energy as a wave of fear at first, but I was wrong.  It was a wave of Love, and I was afraid of it.  This is part of the reason I got so interested in uncovering my beliefs about Love because it seemed so RIDICULOUS that I should be afraid of Love.  And who was the “I” that was feeling this fear and why?

This is where my fanciful notions about Love came into play.  First, the phrase “Lost in Love” popped into my awareness, followed quickly by the word, “Nirvana.”  And the definition for Nirvana? “The state of absolute blessedness, characterized by release from the cycle of reincarnations and attained through the extinction of the self.”  EXTINCTION OF THE SELF??????  I felt like a character in Monty Python’s Holy Grail yelling, “Run Away!  Run Away!”  With this kind of belief about Love, there’s no WONDER I felt fear when that wave that washed over me.

When I looked inside, I understood that this definition of Nirvana or Love was based on a completely valid but severely limited (from my perspective) beliefs based on an Either-Or understanding.  You could either be YOU or be ONE WITH LOVE (or the universe, etc.).  I could be Kristen Fox with all my personality quirks OR I could release my individuality and merge with the Love and Creative Power of ATI.  The fear I felt was my own resistance to Love based on a misconception that it was crucial to my own survival to do so.  The implied threat was that if I stopped resisting, stopped feeling fear, that “I” would, the minute I stopped fighting and struggling, simply C-E-A-S-E T-O E-X-I-S-T.

Which brings me to the topic of self-Love.  Just as when we find ourselves Loving another person, when we Love ourselves we are vibrationally aligned with WHO WE ARE, complete with all of our personality quirks and so-called imperfections as WELL as our powerful creator selves.

My partner John and I have been playing a game I’ll call, “Can you Love yourself now?”  When we’re feeling happy and joyous and things are “going our way” it’s VERY easy to say, “Yes!  Of COURSE I Love myself!”  The challenge is to say “Yes!” (and mean it) when we’re in the middle of a cycle of self-judgment and self-rejection – that’s what I believe the channeled focus Abraham calls a pivot.

For instance, the other day, John and I were out at a restaurant – I was feeling grumpy while John was feeling quite cheerful.  I got up to use the restroom and noticed right away that when I was out of John’s presence, I immediately felt better.  And when I came back to our table, I felt belligerent again and I still didn’t really know why.  That was the exact moment that John chose to ask, “Can you Love yourself right now?”  His timing was perfect of course, but it made me grumble all the harder for a little while, and I couldn’t even meet his eye.

I was coming face to face with one of the judgments about “what’s okay to be” that I’d internalized.  According to this judgment, it wasn’t okay to be happy or cheerful under certain conditions that were not currently being met.  Seeing John do exactly the opposite, with my relationship with John being my most intimate reflection of my relationship to myself, brought up all my judgmental feelings, which I then attempted, unsuccessfully, to project onto him – lucky for me he wasn’t “biting”.  Back at the restaurant, I took a few more moments to continue to grumble and judge myself and then finally gave up the ghost – once I’d named it, the judgment had simply fizzled out.  And I was finally able to say, “Yes, I love myself right now,” albeit through a somewhat sheepish grin.

This judgment (as ANY judgment) that I had internalized was simply a condition that I put on allowing Love to flow through me into expression in physical reality.

“Whenever you feel negative emotion, you are, in that moment, in the mode of negative attraction.  Most often you are, in that moment, resisting something you want.”  -Abraham

“Pain is not feeling – Pain is resistance to feeling.”  -P’taah

“It is only when you do not know yourself that you fear you are evil and are afraid to look within yourself.  But when you open up those doors, you are amazed by the immensity and grace of your own being.” -Seth

What does this have to do with conscious creation?  Completely everything!  When we want to create an object, event, or relationship in physical reality and find ourselves struggling with the process of creation, we are struggling with ourselves, our own limiting beliefs or judgments in this area.  We are coming head-to-head with our own habits of cutting off the flow of energy (Love) that we allow ourselves to express and judging our desires, impulses, and intuitive knowing as unacceptable.  When we are trying to do something “by the rules” or filter our desires through a belief system that’s too small to allow it, we experience a great struggle for alignment.  We are trying to “step down” our “natural” vibrational expression to match the narrower vibrations of our judgments about what’s okay.  In other words, we’re trying to achieve the vibrational alignment that’s required in order to channel energy (Love) into manifestation in physical reality, but by trying to dream and desire LESS instead of opening up to and allowing MORE.  Simply, this is just another way of saying we are resisting the flow of Love.

For most of us, opening up and allowing MORE means letting go of the limiting beliefs we have acquired about physical reality, and many of these beliefs have been with us our entire lives.  We have come to identify ourselves so intimately with these beliefs that its difficult to see them as beliefs instead of TRUTHS.  And when we believe our IDENTITY is reliant upon some belief being TRUE and that belief is being threatened as false or conditional, then we react to opening up and allowing more and BECOMING more as a threat to our existence.

Which brings me back to the starting point.  We are Love.  When we resist Love, we are putting effort into dis-aligning ourselves with Love, and this internal struggle gets projected into our experiences in physical reality.  When we realign with Love, amazing things happen in physical reality, WITHOUT EFFORT.  I offer an example.  One of the places that many of us experience struggle is with creating more abundance in our lives, specifically, money, and John and I haven’t been an exception.   We’ve been challenging every belief about money we had and yet the most amazing results (“reflections of self in physical reality”) came when we switched our focus to strengthening our self-Love instead.  In just a few days, we received an unexpected check and had another bill (for the Department of Motor Vehicles, no less) magically paid for us.

In examining our beliefs about money, John and I have really been examining who we THOUGHT we were and what we THOUGHT we were capable of – yes, our identity or existence of our physically-focused self.  The more we release judgment and focus on loving ourselves, the more quickly we align with the powerful, creative, and loving force that we are, and the more our experiences in physical reality reflect that alignment.

I used to dismiss Love when I focused on the power of conscious creation because I used to believe that Love was “nice” and “pleasant” and well, “loving”, but conscious creation was belief, intent, and focused energy.  Now I realize that I had accepted an understanding that was based on a judgment of what Love should “look” like, but not what Love actually WAS, which is the energy of creation itself, of which we are fundamentally inseparable.

“Fear does not know about Love – only Love knows about Love. Love creates universes.  Love is not passive.  Love has infinite power.  And Love is relentless.  It’s time for you to separate your romantic notions from the Truth.” -Gradius & Ragon

©1998, Kristen Fox.  Printed in the December 1998 Issue of the Conscious Creation Journal.  (Feel free to duplicate this article for personal use – please include this copyright notice.)