Confusius Say by Lou Want

Printed in the Conscious Creation Journal
August-September 2000, Issue 13

Confusius Say
by Lou Want

The eternal wisdom of the sages (and jokesters)… (Not to be taken internally or all at once.) Some of these sayings are my own creations! Enjoy!

confusious say:
keeping eyes on balls,
shoulder to wheel,
and nose to grindstone,
joy will certainly watch you do
a – bun – dance!

confusious say:
Instantly manifestating
of all “things”
that you desire,
may take fun out of phrase:
“trying harder!”

confusious say:
man who loses one of eyes,
should not have regret;
for new glass eye will always be
ready to play marbles.

confusious say:
life is like photography;
use negative to develop.

confusious say:
live life like nomad;
I no mad at you,
you no mad at me;
why be mad at own mirror?

confusious say:
key of unlocking universe,
is key that unlocks own door.

confusious say:
Definition of mistress is:
something between a mister and a mattress.

confusious say:
do not teach children to be saints;
teach them to be kind and pay attention.

confusious say:
man who roll r’s while skating on thin ice;
may never eat rice again.

confusious say:
All people smile in the same language.

confusious say:
hug is great gift..one size fits all;
can be given for any occasion
and easy to exchange.

confusious say:
thank self for what you have,
more importantly;
trust self for what you need.

confusious say:
laughter, music of the soul.

confusious say:
man, wealthier today if he laughed, gave, or forgave.

confusious say:
man, angry with someone in moment,
lose 60 seconds of unique happiness
that may never come back.

confusious say:
best gifts to give:
to  friend – loyalty;
to enemy – forgiveness;
to boss – service;
to mate, child and parents – love and faithfulness;
and to self – life.

confusious say:
man who search all his life for meaning of self
forget how to play, in the movie reel of own natural life;
many forget they were created for fun!

confusious say:
cold ass mean nothing to
woman who leave window open in
blizzard.

confusious say:
there is two sides to coin,
one heads, one tail;
yet, when head is not being used;
bottom end is exposed.

confusious say:
Anger condition in,
where tongue work faster than mind.

confusious say:
anyone who speaks badly of you,
live like no none will believe it.

confusious say:
Home is place where man grumble most,
but is treated best.
confusious say:
filling heart with regrets of yesterday,
and worries of tomorrow,
nothing will be left for today to be thankful for.

confusious say:
leaving window open during blizzard,
is side effect symptom of mooning!

confusious say:
argue for limitations?;
yes, they will be yours for sure.

confusious say:
you are born naked, wet, and hungry;
you eat, sleep, and breathe,
that is when shit happens.

confusious say:
someday, ego may say:
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the hell alone.

confusious say:
far more impressive to self,
when others discover good qualities you have,
without your help.

confusious say:
If you think nobody cares about you,
try missing a couple of car payments.

confusious say:
telling truth,
allows comfort of not
having to remember anything.

confusious say:
lending someone $20,
and never seeing that person again;
will most likely be worth it.

confusious say:
Never mess up apology
with an excuse.

confusious say:
quickest way to double money
is to fold it in half
and put it back in pocket.

confusious say:
duct tape is a lot like the force:
It has light side and  dark side
and it holds universe together.

confusious say:
two theories to arguing with women;
neither one works.

confusious say:
never miss good chance to shut up.

confusious say:
man not learning much
when mouth is moving.

confusious say:
bond that links true family is
not one of blood,
but of respect and joy in
each others life!

confusious say:
man is led through lifetime
by inner learning creature,
the playful spiritual being
that is real self.

confusious say:
you are always free
to change mind,
choose a different future,
or a different past.

confusious say:
“believe” you know all answers,
and you know all answers.

confusious say:
man who  wrap self up in himself only,
make very small package.

confusious girlfriend say:
size matters after all.

confusious say:
word of “listen” contain same letters as word of “silent.”

confusious say:
closed mouth,
has no chance of foot entering it!

confusious say:
In land of blind,
one eyed man is king.

confusious say:
problems present gifts;
man who seeks out problems unknowingly,
may be seeking out such presents for himself.

confusious say:
most beautiful sunsets made by cloudy skies!

confusious say:
One who knows not and
knows not he knows not….
is a Fool,
Avoid him.

confusious say:
Man who farts in church
sits in own pew.

confusious say:
be not concerned about creating better!
life is not competition,
and there is no winner!

confusious say:
“less” keep things simple,
so that I may enjoy more.
“less” keep things simple,
so that I may enjoy more.

confusious say:
character of person, determined
by how they treat people
they do not need.

confusious say:
man who say grass is greener on the other side,
has not looked at underneath side of grass.

confusious say:
squeaky wheel may not always get grease,
sometimes wheel get replaced.

confusious say:
living in fear is same as fear of living;
either way,
you have no life.

confusious say:
big mistake to allow mechanical object
to know you are in hurry.

confusious say:
dancing is vertical expression
of horizontal desire.

confusious say:
fight to death with zombies
has a few inherent problems.

confusious say:
loving atmosphere in home
is strong foundation for life.

confusious say:
share  knowledge;
It is way to achieve immortality.

confusious say:
give self joyful gift;
go someplace you’ve never been before.

confusious say:
Cigarette does smoking,
man just sucker.

confusious say:
Do not argue with fool,
audience cannot tell difference.

confusious say:
Some days you are pigeon,
other days you are statue.

confusious say:
sdrawkcab dootsrednu tub sdrawrof devil si efiL

confusious say:
Man who walk through airport turnstile
sideways, going to Bangkok.

confusious say:
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

confusious say:
Takes many nails to build crib for twins,
but one screw to fill it.

confusious say:
Never wrestle with pig:
you both get dirty,
yet, pig likes it.

confusious say:
Take one tree to make 10,000 matches,
yet, one match to burn 10,000 trees.

confusious say:
Man who have much, give of your wealth.
Man who have little, give of your heart.
And blessed be, the man, who do both.

confusious say:
Excuse, easiest thing to make,
yet, hardest thing to sell

confusious say:
Even smallest candle burn bright in dark.

confusious say:
Defeat not bitter,
if you do not swallow it.

confusious say:
At the feast of ego,
everyone leave hungry.

confusious say:
Be cautious whose toes you step on today, someday,
may be attached to ass you kiss tomorrow.

confusious say:
Wise man get more use from enemies
than fool does from friends.

confusious say:
Ton of regret never make ounce of difference.

confusious say:
Person whose heart is not content
is like snake trying to swallow elephant.

confusious say:
Everyday above ground is a good day.

confusious say:
When looking for prince,
woman may have to kiss a lot of toads.

confusious say:
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

confusious say:
Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

confusious say:
Panties not best thing on earth
but, next to best thing on earth.

confusious say:
Man who run in front of car get tired.

confusious say:
Man who run behind car get exhausted.

confusious say:
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

confusious say:
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

confusious say:
Foolish man give wife grand piano,
wise man give wife upright organ.

confusious say:
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in
basement.

confusious say:
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.

confusious say:
Man with one chopstick go hungry.

confusious say:
War doesn’t determine who is right,
war determines who is left.

confusious say.
Virginity like bubble: one prick, all gone.

confusious say:
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat
house.

confusious say:
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

confusious say:
Passionate kiss, like spider’s web, soon lead to
undoing of fly.

confusious say…..
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

confusious say:
Woman who lay on bedspring this spring have offspring
next spring

confusious say:
Man with athletic finger make broad jump

confusious say:
Woman who cook cabbage and peas in same pot
unsanitary

confusious say:
Man who eat many prune sit on toilet many moon

confusious say:
Woman who fly plane upside-down going to have crack up

confusious say:
Man who eat jelly beans fart in Techni-Color

confusious say:
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger

confusious say:
He who throw dirt is losing ground.

confusious say:
Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face.

confusious say:
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!

confusious say:
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

confusious say:
Support bacteria–it’s the only culture some people have.

confusious say:
One who knows and
knows he knows….
is a wise man,
Follow Him

confusious say:
One who knows and
knows not he knows….
is asleep,
Awaken him.

confusious say:
One who knows not and
knows he knows not….
is a child,
Teach him.

Original sayings ©2000, Lou Want, all else ‘public domain’.  Printed in the August-September 2000 Issue of the Conscious Creation Journal.  http://www.consciouscreation.com (Feel free to duplicate this article for personal use – please include this copyright notice.)