I hardly know where to begin with this column. I don't know about others of you, but this past month has been nothing short of intensely discombobulating for me. That may not be a term used in professional healing circles, but it is the most all-encompassing word for what I have been experiencing. I watch my life and perceptions reorganizing at an astounding rate, and I am left dizzy, tired, and disoriented by the magnitude of the shifts. Early bedtimes and extra naps have been my experience these days, and I've noticed several changes in my perception and relationship with the world. I would like to offer reflections on two of those changes.

One change I have noticed is in my approach to writing these articles. Much of what I have written over the past few years has been more mentally structured; voicing opinions, passing along raw information or offering conceptual presentations as if I was standing in a position of being some kind of intellectual authority. It has been our training, after all, to gather data and hold it up as wisdom, thereby assuring our place closer to the top of the intellectual pyramid and the illusion of superiority that seems to provide. That approach to communication doesn't feel like a true reflection of my nature but I have certainly participated in that system, especially when I have felt "less than" and not very confident that my heart voice would be heard.

It now seems that I am becoming quite unable to offer mental models as meaningful assistance for our transformation. How many more words do we need? We've been given plenty over the last 2,000 years. How many times do we need to hear one more quote from some book, entity, or spiritual authority figure about what we are becoming? If you're reading this you're quite likely aware of a significant amount of what's been written and said about the transformation of the earth and we humans. I would propose that we've all been helped along the way with some teaching that spoke to us. Those words helped us to open and explore concepts that may have been a better fit for us than whatever was the dominant thought in our communities. Now we're moving beyond the concepts into the experience of the transformation.

I once wrote an article about how to ride a bike. I described the mechanical construction, the principles of locomotion and the physics of the transference of energy through rotation and gear reduction. The instructions for riding are simple: Sit, Pedal, Steer. In the structure of our current system you can study the explanations and hypothesis carefully and repeat the rules until you have memorized them. This focused study then prepares you to pass the test on knowing all about bicycles and you can take your place as an authority on bicycle riding. Of course, the point of the article was that although you may gain some familiarity with the structure of the bike and perhaps even see a photo of what one looks like, you will never know about the true nature of riding a bike until you get on it and start acquiring experience about how it works. You cannot be mentally trained to learn about how it feels to balance and maneuver on a bike. Information is not wisdom.

My perspective is that the core elements of becoming conscious creators are not connected to acquiring even more information, but that much of what is occurring is in the body at the DNA level. We are strongly conditioned to use our minds as the interface to our experience, but what we are just beginning to access doesn't come to us through the mental field. If we try to use our minds to keep a grip on what is happening, we will only find ourselves unable to access what is now becoming available to us. A vast amount of accumulated wisdom is stored in the earth, and our bodies are part of her. We are quite wonderful beings designed by her to carry the codes and keys to creation which are now opening in our cells, and I don't know anybody who has a sense of what's coming next. So what's needed now?

My sense is that now we need more maps, not just more information. Each of us participating in this grand transformative process has something to offer to the others also making the shift. First we heal and release out of the old matrix of consciousness and then we go through a transition before we anchor into the new. There is much support out there for the healing part of the process. But we don't continue on a healing path forever. That's just a necessary preparation for what is to come. As wholeness is re-established, there begins a movement through the passageway between realities. Minimal assistance has been available for this part of the process, but I sense that more will open over the next year as more people make the journey. After the passageway comes full immersion in the new, and there is almost no reference yet for this state of being. Perhaps sharing our experiences as we transform will be of assistance to others following close behind.

A second change I have noticed is my sense of feeling no longer a part of the on-going local and global conflicts and crises. I haven't been able to spend more than two minutes scanning a newspaper. I find virtually nothing of life in them. I simply do not feel pulled into the on-going dramas, and in fact I experience a sense of self-annoyance at having focused any of my energy into some of the stories. It's quite incredible how many things exist that could draw my focus away from my own transformation. I went through a time of questioning my own sensitivities to others, etc., but the truth is that I am learning a great deal about the overwhelming amount of distortion in the world and the need to practice fine discernment about what gets my attention. This is another place where I have read plenty about the illusory nature of the dying paradigm. Now I am having the experience of not focusing my energies into the illusion.

I have a sense that this feeling of disconnection is a critical turning point in the process of moving into the new matrix, and I would enjoy hearing from others who are also experiencing this. After moving through this turning from the old, I feel ever more ready to step into the place of creating the new. I know I am close but not quite completely through with my engagement of what has been. My soul has its timing, and so does the greater orchestration of this global transformation. We have been told that this next year will be a challenging one for many. I have to say that I'm reallly looking forward to whatever is next because I definitely no longer fit into what I used to consider to be my life. The changes are coming rapid-fire, I'm on my bike, and I'm peddling as fast as I can! 

©1999, Chris LaFontaine. Printed in the April-May  1999 Issue of the online Conscious Creation Journal. (Feel free to duplicate this column for personal use - please include this copyright notice.) http://www.consciouscreation.com/