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Why Do We Struggle?
By Kristen N. Fox
One of the major themes
in the shift to the new age is the change from struggle to ease, from
hardship to joy. Ironically, it seems like many of us try to STRUGGLE
our way to enlightenment, which doesn’t work. You can get there
from here, by not by struggling!
For most of us, struggling
through certain areas of our lives is a habit, unconscious or not.
We learned early on that we don’t just wish for something and have it
appear on the table in front of us - we have to DO SOMETHING in order
to get what we want or even EARN this item. Then we hear the “life
is not struggle” line, and it feels like truth to us - so why do we keep
on struggling and how do we stop?
The most direct and the
most vague answer to that question is that we struggle because we don’t
know who we are. If you are struggling in any area of your
life, it’s most likely a result of having accepted a limiting belief as
truth. For instance, if you are struggling to make ends meet, you
are having to put a lot of energy into creating money because you don’t
believe you really CAN have a lot of money, or you don’t believe you deserve
it. You have identified yourself with this limitation instead of
the unlimited truth that you can choose anything you want and BE anything
you want.
Part of the struggle to
stop struggling, if you’ll pardon my phrasology here, is the struggle
to find out who we really are. Many of us go through a time of “processing”
where we learn about what we’ve been believing, and we discard that which
no longer serves us. At the same time we’re getting the hang of
reconnecting with our inner selves, our true selves.
Here’s another way of
looking at it - there was a young child who loved mathematics and just
flew through the answers on a test. The teacher thought she must
have cheated and so failed her. The truth was that she just KNEW
the answers. She didn’t “show her work” or struggle through each
linear step that the teacher expected and so was called a cheater.
As a result, she stopped liking mathematics and school in general.
The child accepted the truth of the teacher over her own knowing and closed
herself down in this area. She stopped having a relationship with
herself when it came to school and mathematics and instead, dealt with
the world with a “false” construct or mask of herself as “limited”.
Perhaps she did this because she believed in authority figures, or because
she wanted to fit in and have other people like her. But whatever
the reason, she was now expressing an ‘acceptable construct’ of herself,
instead of who she really was. And school and math was no longer
easy and joyful for her.
This is also a good example
of how we perpetuate struggle. I remember feeling almost invincible
when I was a kid, like I could have and do anything I wanted to.
And then I learned “how things were done” - for instance, you couldn’t
just CREATE money, you had to play along with the rules set up by society.
Work a job, invest, earn it some way - you couldn’t just WISH money to
appear - that wasn’t ALLOWED.
Right - it may not have
been allowed by the limiting beliefs of our mass consciousness, but it
certainly was a truth that was more in alignment with our unlimited selves
than the conditional selves we learn to become.
The great, but confusing
part of struggle is that there is no solution. There’s no answer
on how to stop struggling except to just STOP. See your struggle
and refuse to participate. Refuse to accept thoughts that try to
point you back towards struggle. Make a large open space for yourself
where none of the old thoughts come back in.
You will be tempted to
fill this empty space with old thoughts when new thoughts don’t immediately
pop in, but ignore them. Sit with the blankness. In areas where
we’ve struggled most of our lives, we are very comfortable feeling the
drama of struggle and not at all comfortable with clear, open space.
Soon enough, you’ll be thinking those new thoughts that allow you to have
whatever you want, without struggling for it.
And then, on the other
hand, you may not be ready to give up struggling just yet. DON’T
FORCE IT!! If you find something appealing about the drama,
just pay attention to what draws you about it, and then decide whether
you want to continue with the drama or just go to what you say you’ve
been wanting all along. Don’t STRUGGLE with yourself over your desire
to continue the drama - accept
yourself for where you are and what draws you in the moment. A friend
of mine calls this “deciding to decide.”
The universe responds
to your beliefs, about yourself and your world, and beliefs are just thoughts
that we have chosen so often that we hardly even think about them anymore.
There’s an easy way to tell if you are heading down the road to struggle...
do the thoughts you are choosing about yourself make you feel good or
bad? Do the thoughts you are choosing about yourself support what
you want to experience or keep you separated from your desires?
Once you start paying
attention to how you feel, you’ll have all sorts of opportunities to stop
struggling and choose easier and more joyous paths. Just be patient
with yourself, and honest too. There’s nothing to work at, and you
don’t have to be any holier or more spiritual than you are when you are
just being yourself. There’s no grade to make or fail, and there’s
no one standard to live up to. Just be yourself, and the struggle
dissolves away!
[Originally published
on Themestream, June 2000.]
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by Kristen Fox and John McNally unless otherwise noted. If you
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