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Waking Up Behind The Wheel
By Kristen N. Fox
As far as conscious creation
goes, there’s no INHERENT difference between creating a parking
space and creating a million dollars. We rarely think that
creating a parking space, as joyous as that may be, is something
that will “change our lives” - but we often give that power to the
idea of a sudden inflow
of money, like winning the lottery.
Right away, you can look
at the perspectives in each situation and see where the power is
believed to be. Since we don’t believe that creating a parking
space will extensively alter our lives and who we are, that means we believe
that we are the power, the creating force, that the abilities inherent
in that symbol are already a part of us. When we believe that things
like winning ten million
dollars or meeting the love of our life WILL change our lives, we are
putting the
power outside ourselves, and on the physical event instead.
What’s happened here is
that as we widen our perspectives to accept ourselves as the creators
of our realities, we have let go of our old way of seeing things from
the outside in. As we discover that we are creating the very events
we have believed we were reacting to, our perspective shifts, and we start
realizing that we are not locked into any kind of cycle. That is,
we start realizing that we can CHOOSE exactly how we wish to feel, regardless
of what seems to be happening around us. Most of us have
heard that we must BE the change we wish to see in physical reality, but
where do we START?
These ideas become particularly
relevant when we find ourselves in the middle of circumstances we’re not
sure how we created in the first place, but we know we want them
to change. It doesn’t require any major enlightenment, just a little
attention to our feelings. The MOMENT you start feeling bad:
(1) STOP reacting
to what’s happening, whether it’s an action or a feeling
you’re experiencing.
(2) Take notice
of what in physical reality caused you to feel badly. (trigger) This could be an event,
an object, person or a thought associated with any of
these. (For instance, you may be able to look at a picture
of an old lover with no problem, but then you think, “I may never
be able to find someone as
wonderful again” which immediately makes you feel BAD.)
(3) Decide at that
moment that you are no longer going to feel this way, even if
this trigger event/object/person happens again.
(4) Decide what
you are going to feel INSTEAD of the usual icky emotions. You may
want to start with “indifference” if it’s difficult to feel GOOD
at the moment. Choose new thoughts that will make you feel
the way you want to feel. (For instance, if you want to feel good,
you may decide that “since you created someone like your old lover,
you can create someone like that and even better!”)
(5) Remain watchful
for other similar trigger events, objects, people, thoughts
that might cause you to go out of your center of connection and into this
negative spiral again.
The steps are fairly simple,
but actually DOING these steps may require the
gathering of will, self-love, and courage.
Let me give you an example
from my own life. I was once again feeling bad about not having
enough money to cover the bills or get ahead financially. The trigger
was an unexpected expense that came just as I thought, once again,
that we were going to make ends meet. I started to feel bad.
Call it frustration, powerlessness, disconnection, anger, whatever; it
basically amounts to feeling
bad. For a long time I had allowed myself to feel this way,
to fight against the feelings, to try to AVOID the feelings, and I still
kept creating similar situations.
Finally I got fed up and BORED with feeling this way – I wanted OUT.
It wasn’t the expense
that made me feel bad, but the thought, “There’s not enough money.” But
how could I possibly believe there WAS enough money when I “knew” there
wasn’t?
That’s when I remembered
I was a creator, not a reactor. I had to accept that I
had created this situation (repeatedly, most of my life!) because
I have always thought and believed, “there isn’t enough money” – no matter
how much money I actually had! I ALWAYS felt as if there weren’t
enough money, regardless of circumstances, and it always left me feeling
terrible.
So I flipped it around,
shifted my perspective from reactor to creator. I could then
accept that I DID have a choice about what I thought, and felt.
I wanted to feel GOOD about money. I wanted to feel like I had enough,
regardless of what SEEMED to be happening at the moment. And
just like I felt BAD because of my associated thoughts even if I DID have
more than enough money, I could
choose to feel good, and to associate DIFFERENT thoughts with any
kind of money trigger.
I had to pay attention.
I had to catch myself. I had to accept that it was okay to
be the one driving the car, that I wasn’t unnaturally manipulating
my own emotional state (there’s denial, which leaves you struggling
with yourself, and
then there’s awareness and choice – two very different things.)
And a funny thing happened. Next month, with NO CHANGE to our financial
situation, we suddenly had enough money! I could add up the numbers
any way I wanted and they worked out – both when I believed we didn’t
have enough and when I believed we did. It really threw my rational
mind for a loop!
The phrase “UNCONDITIONAL”
love took on an entirely new meaning – suddenly I understood that
being in a state of connection, feeling GOOD, regardless of the momentary
CONDITIONS in physical reality (whether they’re yours or someone else’s)
was the secret to creative power.
I was now in control of
what I felt. And since our FEELINGS are our conscious way of experiencing
actual vibration (the stuff reality is made of), and since we get
what we resonate or vibrate with... I had just experientially “discovered”
that I was sitting in the driver’s seat, after a long period of
sitting in the back seat and wondering, “Are we there yet?”
[Originally published
in The Edge, May 2000.]
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