Home
Follow Us On Twitter
CC Weblog & News
Reality
Creation 101
An Introduction
Total
Reorientation
Gradius & Ragon Sessions
on Reality Creation
Available in Paperback too!
Conscious
Creation Journal
250+ Articles, Various Authors
Conscious
Creation Essays
Reprinted From 'The Edge'
CC
Email Lists
Subscribe & Get Updates
CC T-shirts &
Gifts
Funny, Metaphysical Designs
CC Bookstore
Free
I-Ching, Tarot &
Numerology Readings
Conscious
Creation Links
Contact
Us
Search the CC Site
(Weblog has separate search.)
|
Freeing Our Energy From Codependence
By Kristen Fox
One of the questions most
commonly asked in conscious creation is, “How come it’s so easy to manifest
what I want in one area of my life but not another?” The fundamental
answer here is that in the areas where our energy is free, we easily manifest,
where it is not free, we experience struggle.
Looking more closely at
this in my own life, the ideas of codependence and emotional manipulation
came into my awareness. Energetically, these ideas describe situations
where our energy (emotion - energy in motion) is tied either with another
person’s or a certain kind of situation. Most often, they are cases
where we are giving this other element energy and then getting some kind
of energy back. At first, this doesn’t seem so bad, after all, it
happens all the time, doesn’t it? But those are the exact situations
where our energy isn’t free. Instead our energy is caught up in
emotional twistings and a conditional back and forth, cyclical exchange
- the drama of a struggle, no matter how “polite” or “normal” it appears
on the surface. Getting approval from an authority when we do what
they tell us to is an excellent example - party A gets the feeling of
approval and acceptance and party B gets the feeling of being in control.
An exchange, yes, but it’s not “free” creation.
What we AREN’t doing in
a situation like the one above is looking within. Instead, we are
looking to another person for that energy. Sometimes others CAN
help us find our own source by reflecting something back for us, but what
I’m talking about here is a habitual situation of NEED and searching for
energy (in whatever form) outside the self.
Then, when we try to create
something that falls outside of the narrow conditions of that codependent
relationship, that’s where we usually get stuck - If we try to create
something that our authority figure would NOT approve of, we are suddenly
faced with a situation where we don’t know how to look to ourselves for
approval (energetically support). We have this big desire we want
to create but our energy and focus keep going back to whether or not our
codependent partner would “approve”, etc. We suddenly experience
fear of what will happen if we try to do something on our own and often,
an energy struggle will ensue - the momentum of old habits and well-trusted
patterns trying to reassert itself by upping the anty, either with sweet,
tempting words or by threatening some kind of action.
A basic test to see whether
or not your energy is free with a person or situation is to ask yourself
whether or not it seems to take a lot of work or effort to keep something
going as it stands, whether something would stand naturally on its own
without “effort” and whether or not you would change it if you could,
even a small part of it. For if you are denying a part of your own
expression in order to maintain a situation or relationship, your energy
is not free to choose/create what you really want. Instead, your
energy is going into supporting this structure that is no longer an accurate
reflection of where you are in your life. That’s where effort comes
from and why all the channeled information out nowadays tells us that
life is fundamentally effortless, unless we choose for it not to be.
And when we choose struggle, we are struggling against the expression
of our own energy, which then gets mirrored in our lives, exhausts us,
and makes us wonder why we can’t create what we want.
I think I’m finally on
the road to understanding why my “higher self” once said, “By moving to
a new level of relatedness and relationship, you alter the basic dynamics
of all relationships. Consider this process as the higher
road, particularly when compared to the old road of acting out all the
scenarios and struggling to understand and interpret them and hoping that
others in relationship with you can work with you to overcome the patterns.”
The challenge here isn’t
so much in the struggle itself, for we are very used to struggle as a
“norm.” It is in what happens when the struggle STOPS - that big,
wide-open ballroom we step into when before we were just trying to find
a place to sit in a tiny, crowded hallway. Closeness and connection
are no longer defined in terms of slowing down our own movement so we
can all have a chance (limitation), they are now defined in terms of us
each being free to dance however we choose.
And that feels VERY different
- and that disfamiliarity can send us running back to what feels comfortable
and reliable. We see ourselves letting go of old relationships/situations
and having yet to find new ones, and sometimes fear will tell you that
if you take one more step ahead, you’ll find yourself all alone.
In undergoing this change
in my own life, I found myself actually trying to unconsciously recreate
a few codependent situations, unsuccessfully, of course.
The wide-open space,
that lack of emotional attachment to conditions and limitations, felt
so BLANK at first. This wasn’t “better” I thought - it was... undefined!
It actually felt LONELY. However, that loneliness wasn’t caused
by lack of connection, it was caused by focusing on what was no longer
in my life. If you’re sitting in a bright room, you can still choose
to morn the loss of darkness.
Someone once said that
in coming into physical reality, we learn to disconnect from our Source
and to rely instead on what amounts to a pack mentality. In the
old survival frame of mind, codependence was almost a REQUIREMENT.
We were free to do what we wanted by following the “rules.” But
conscious creation, expressing our energy in physical reality while also
integrated with our (nonphysical) Source knows no rules, it only knows
desire, joy, and expression. And what was once difficult to create,
now easily and effortlessly unfolds before you. Relationships will
feel different, that’s for sure, but after the initial shock, we realize
how much fun DANCING can be and how many others are dancing happily next
to us.
[Originally published
in The Edge, September 1999.]
All
materials on consciouscreation.com are created and copyrighted
by Kristen Fox and John McNally unless otherwise noted. If you
wish you may copy pages for personal use only - please include
this copyright notice. All rights reserved. Contact
the webmaster
with questions or other republishing requests. |
